Love the system

I was so young desperately seeking freedom, right after I got out of my childhood,
There was walls all around me, following me where ever I go.
I tried to run away, I found my self away from the shadows it offered me; I got scared, the sun burned my tender skin.
Lost again and forced to get in the shadow of these high walls, hating the walls but laying underneath it, sometimes trying to climb it and other times tempted to go run under the sun. I many times tried to crack those walls, it crashed my nails, and wounded my skin.
My body covered with dust my skin getting thicker, but still the situation is the same.
There was that door that I was too proud to get through it, I did not want to be similar to every one, similar to those old people getting through it.
I wanted to be like those few who I see from time to time, they have grown older, they are still on the outside but unlike me they have a smile on their face and a mysterious deep look in their eyes.
I wanted to learn, I heard stories about them that said that they are like no other humans or some said that they are not humans at all.
Staring from far, never dared to talk to them, never dared to get close to them.
Growing with time, courage grew in my heart and I walk toward these men.
Getting close to them I heard them sing a song, the main refrain was the same I grew up hearing from the people around "Oh, it's a dangerous world boys, repeat and say. Oh, it's a dangerous world boys."
Weird are those guys, they are men above men, they are singing the same song as the small men.
Yes, this is what I heard what I understood, it is the same lyrics. I felt desperate, there was no answer. I picked up my self all this distance maybe I can find an answer for all the "hows" I asked.
Time is still playing his game, I did not want to give, up I stayed and roamed for years in-vain no answer; Walked back home or better to say walked back to where I was.
Getting closer to the old places the sound of the legends was decreasing and the sound of dead was rising, yes it was the same words being singed by all... This is when I stopped, my body shivering, it truly is the same words but it is not the same song. The dead where singing again and again singing but nagging, nagging and crying "Oh, it's a dangerous world boys"; while my ears missed the singing of the legends, who were singing and shouting, screaming and celebrating the tough days the high obstacles.
Wonder never left my heart, but that breeze of an answer was caressing my skin.
There was no way I can go back now to the legends because I can't survive long in their shadows, I continued my way to my old place, now I have new eyes admiring new stuff and having a different perspective reading all what is around, but the view is not getting any more beautiful than before.
I have seen her one day playing around and giving me an attractive look from time to time, she had magic in her eyes like I have never seen; attracted me to her and got me under her spell. She pushed in my veins an extreme power that almost blew me up from the inside, I almost got an over dose, much over than what my body could ever handle. I was not really enjoying that boost I enjoyed the new experience that was taking over my mind till it got me drunk and unconscious.
I followed her steps with joy, but she was like every one heading to that mysterious door, I never like the odor getting out of it... It was painful seeing that she decided to go with the flow. It was the first time I get that close to the door what allowed me to look through it and see what sucks people inside.
Every one seemed happy. still not convinced I decided to make that step inside, because the external world became so repetitive.
Nothing surprising there, all smiles, fake smiles because each is shameful to show his boredom. But I couldn't do the same, I was smiling at the beginning everything new brings some joy to my heart. Benefit from some rest and explore the new entourage cause soon the trip must continue.
Examining the place, I found it was wilder and wider than it's inhabitants make it look. I knew that I can live there and discover the place and enjoying the daily new stuff it will offer, all this in one condition the fake smile that I may wear sometimes should not import fake feelings to my heart.
It will be the day where I will be somehow as the legends I have seen before, and hope I will sing my own song.

People I Met: Promenade

My enemy holds a mirror reflecting my strength points

My ally holds a mirror reflecting my weakness points

And a good companion polishes well those mirrors to avoid distraction

 
It all started long time ago, as I remember Shad was bolder than Geo.
Walking around on the border of the river in that wildness near their town.
Shad silent as always, but very attentive, I can't really tell what's in his mind.
Geo walking right after him, is a bit loud but seems that the silence of Shad is really dominating.
During there walk Geo wanted  to jump high and scream loud, he tried many times to pass Shad so he can take lead and enjoy his space, but this always failed he even once broke his nose cause Shad made him fall.
The walk continues, walk down in the town, with time Geo has learned well how to pass Shad, he made his big move and here he is dancing jumping, with no boundaries.
The tempo of the dance goes faster passing in between the shops then Geo gets a sudden hit on his head.
Shad gets near him, takes him by his hand to help him up, and here he gets a sudden punch on his nose. A look of anger on Geo's face, red eyes staring toward Shad, first person was Shad to be blamed the reason was not clear not even in the mind of Geo, but Shad has to be blamed.
Stayed there on the ground while Shad walks away, cold blood as always.
In vain Geo tried to carry on with his dance, a sudden fear broke into his heart, a low experienced person like him will be shocked after this accident, a merchant came close to him and said to him: "son you can't do it, here you are some water and relax."
He tries to stand again and jump high as before, but he simply couldn't, he developed a fear from his entourage, so his heart told him to go follow Shad again.
again the walk continues, Geo is in the back again reviewing and feeling that fight between safety and independence. Now away from people, in that road in the mountains the most relaxing and dreamy ambiance. Shad goes slower and slower, anger again gets over Geo who almost stepped over Shad's feet. this time he does not express his anger, Shad even kept going slower without talking till he stopped. That same look in his eyes, never ever changing, he sat down, Geo never questions the acts of Shad even that it always provokes him, time taught him not to question also taught him how to read behind the poker face of Shad. Breeze and beauty, sitting there comfort sneaks again to the heart of Geo especially that he managed to have a short conversation with Shad, very soon enthusiasm shines in the eyes of Geo and he starts to make some moves and few steps of a new dance. Dance dance smile and go high, the dance get more harmonious and intense, imaginary music plays in the head of Geo only Shad can hear it. Till a sudden move and Geo disappears, he slips and falls around few meters down... Still high from the dance the smile never leaves his face and his silent dance turns into a loud laugh with no clue how to get out of the hole he got him self into it. A sound of rattling made him jump high enough to catch the hand of Shad and get out of there.
Pick up there stuff and continues down the hill to the neighbor town, rare are the words and long is the conversation. New people there, they already met some of them but all connections has been cut so a short salutation is enough while each proceeds with his business.
"My friend the merchant who offered you the water, has always dreamed to be a dancer but he mistaken the words of life and thought it told him no one can ever be a dancer, and the rattling you heard was not a snake."

People I Met: Responsibility

There is that little Island that has sufficient resources where you can live in peace with the little it affords to you. It seems that all the people of that Island are dreamers, big dreamers.
Walking around, between the people having a coffee with them all you have to is close your eyes and imagine that depending on what they say this little Island will become the most exiting place on earth soon, very soon it will be a land of heroes and land of creativity. This was Home-town
Geo was born in Home-town and got used to it, it offered him safety and stability, it was great, except for one thing it's people are dreamers, Geo felt in love with their dreams they became his idols.
Till one day he woke up and found their dreams eating him alive, Geo looked around nothing changed he is growing older, nothing changed. He felt in deep pain, became like them, developed his dreams but nothing changed.
Geo opened his eyes and have seen it, this Island offers a little, enough to stay alive, but it is a dream burier... Definitely not his place, and that is what everyone have said about them self, this is not our place.
He used to walk with his friend on the border of the river, a wide river, it is known that there is an other land on the other side, They do not know much about it but they think it will be fun to go there one day. They talked about what would they do if they went there,and they always insisted they will go there.
One weird day, that day Geo said it, he said he is preparing the tools to cross the river, preparing his self to go there to the land that we only see it's shadow through the river that it's current changes directions. Geo knew that people around him will get surprised, but did not know that he will be more surprised than them, what surprised him are two things.
The first was their reaction, all these people talking about dreams about what would they do at the other side, they got shocked, now you can see fear in their eyes. First thing that the best friend said: "hey don't tell any one I encouraged you, are you sure you want to do that? why would you do that?"
And this was the reaction of many who thought they are the reason he did this, how funny is that? People are not ready to take responsibility even for "the possibility that they may be part of the reason of encouraging".
The second that surprised him is that one day Geo woke up and found him self on the other side on that other Island, even he did not know how he ended there, it was a beautiful secret a secret that he enjoyed and that he will master with time.
When he got there, people still wanted to go to that part too, in fact they wanted it even more. But...

People I Met: Over the seas

From one of his trips Geo came back with a tattoo on his arm, this tattoo is different from all others this one is even more colorful and warm this is the first thing that people notice comparing to the rest that are on his body.
What is bizarre is that Geo likes to spend hours facing a mirror so he be able to see the tattoo.
Once in a gathering he was asked to explain what is all this story about, at this moment a shiny smile draws on his face and starts to telling.
That "Chem" the word in the tattoo is the name of a princess in a far kingdom, but he couldn't really explain what is that kingdom... She is a princess of inspiration, she is a beautiful woman...
Geo always believed  that women has great powers, but those powers are like fire it is random and burns everything on it's way, a fire that does not know what it wants... But this time when talking about Chem it was obvious that his ideas were different...
- Do you still talk to her? someone asked him...
- Yes I am constantly in contact with her, she made the greatest change in my life, and she is my definition of a true woman.
- Since you are still in contact with her, why to spend hours looking at your arm in the mirror, why not spend time reading her letters?
Geo with his bright eyes that probably expresses much more of what his words are gonna say, starts to explain... letters are encouraging words for the moment, and she has the perfect words to heal my wounds but it is not enough and it is nothing comparing to what I see when I look in that mirror... Chem has drawn that tattoo with her own hands, I touch the tattoo and feel her warm touch that reaches my heart and caresses my thoughts and  inspires my dreams. And in purpose it is drawn on a place that I can't see so I look into a mirror when I want to see it, this is a reminder of her eyes only them were able to reflect a true woman's beauty and in it I found a lot of my reality.
And Geo continues talking about her, every one felt in love with her... She is a dreamer and independent, she is a remarkable survivor who managed to transform her scars to a beauty and always maintained her feminism.
Every one left, their hearts warm from the story they heard, but they left with much more questions than they had when they came.